Inside Narnia's Royalty
by Darkmoonphase
Summary: A peek inside the worlds of Edmund and Peter and their relationship with each other, how they pushed themselves away from each other, and eventually found themselves wandering back. "You never can find a shadow without a light source, after all."


_**A/N: In this, I really wanted to explore the relationship between Peter and Edmund. We see a lot of Edmund and Lucy's relationship, and the brothers' is hinted at quite a bit but not really delved into. The idea that Peter is the "golden child" and Edmund feels second best (ref. "Voyage of the Dawn Treader") is a story I think a lot of us can relate to. But there was a line in "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" that kinda caught my attention enough to get this idea into my head. It was that Edmund had been happy, honest, and more open before he began attending that "dreadful school". So was the boys' relationship always rocky, then? Did Edmund always feel second best to Peter?**_

_**I decided to kinda explore that idea. I tried to keep it rather vague and metaphoric in nature, so as not to disrupt the magical world of Narnia with grown-up rhetoric. (Also, sorry it's so damn short… I was expecting it to be longer, tbh.) Enjoy!**_

_**~:~**_

Golden boy. Head always held high, as if always wearing a crown of glory. Ready to draw his sword and shield in a righteous fury. Peter was made of optimism and strength, fueled by the desire to protect his family and friends at whatever cost.

What used to inspire Edmund, now grated on every nerve in his body. He shied away from Peter's light and laughter, turned inward and found solace in the maze of his own thoughts. If there was ever an occasion in which he and Peter agreed on something, Edmund was sure to find a fault with it, and a reason to no longer agree.

He _does _remember looking up to Peter, once. When Peter had had unlimited patience, and didn't feel the weight of their father's absence on his shoulders and in his heart. For their father was away in the war, and it fell to Peter to be the head of the house. Edmund used to look up to Peter, before he was sent to school. Everyone sees his flaws and never his accomplishments there. All the teachers had taught Peter, and told Edmund that he just wasn't as bright. Everyone had things to say to him, and he had had quite enough of holding his tongue.

But Peter had suffered similarly, finding few friends at school. His optimism had annoyed plenty, and it was the teachers' jobs to tell their students that they're failures in everything. And when he confided in Edmund these things, by way of comfort, Edmund only found it more infuriating that Peter could get through it all with a grace he could only dream of. Everyone was out to make his life miserable, most of all Peter.

As school made Edmund cold and bitter, he withdrew deeper into himself, and felt sorrier for himself every day. Gone were the days of playing make-believe with his younger sister, Lucy, just to hear her laugh. Gone were the days of telling heroic and silly stories with his older sister, Susan, just to make her smile. Gone were the days of following Peter around the house, trying to be "just like him" and reveling in the honored expression in his eyes.

Is he proud of who he is becoming? His insides squirm at the idea, but he thinks that he's rather proud of the fact that no one could stop him from becoming this person. Though it does sting when he sees all the reproachful faces of his siblings, it also fuels the fire of resentment within him. They wouldn't like him any better if he were to do as they asked!

When there are wars in your heart, you often fail to see all the hands of the people who reach out to help you.

When this happens those who want to help become frustrated. But more with themselves, for they feel they _should _be doing more to help and, yet, cannot. And this is exactly as Peter felt, watching his brother struggle.

Peter doesn't really _feel _as gallant as people often tell him he is. He doesn't _feel _brave, or righteous, or really very proud at all. In fact, he really very frequently feels _small_, and nervous. In moments of hesitation, he reminds himself that his family needs him, and so he does his best for them. He has "grown up" talks with Susan, when they're all together, about their younger siblings and how they could help their mother. He knows Edmund looks to him, and he wonders what he sees. He wonders what he should do to be a better example. How do role models normally act? He does his best to keep Lucy occupied and happy.

And, sometimes, in quiet moments to himself, he feels all of it pushing down on him, suffocating him. And he feels that their father should come home.

As they grow, Peter sees that the chasm between he and Edmund seems to be growing wider, never closer. There are nights that he spends wide awake, wondering how to mend things between them. Just as he thinks he may have something, a new day breaks, with renewed efforts on Edmund's part to push everyone away.

And in those moments, Peter can't help but think that Edmund is rather nasty now. A shadow skulking the corners. Ready to wear his shield before the battle is even spoken of, draw his sword before the threat is even seen. Edmund is made of a sharp tongue and a steely will.

As the war in the real world peaks, and the children are sent away, the wars in their hearts strengthen.

Peter's starting to feel older, the weight of all the responsibility pushing down on his shoulders. Helplessness wells in his chest. Yet, he tries. He tries to coax Edmund from the shadows. He tries to be fair when his younger siblings quarrel. And, all the while, he can see that _nothing_ is working. Instead of pulling his brother in towards him, he finds that he is forcibly pushing him away.

While Narnia becomes refuge, slowly but surely, the burdens of their distaste towards each other grows as well. Until, finally, like a rubberband, it stretches too far and the brothers find something has snapped within each of them. As they reach their limits, they find themselves propelled back into each other's gravitational pull.

Edmund finds himself retracing his steps, seeing that all the stones that had once tripped him up were now a bridge in which he could cross to meet his brother. The walls around his heart melt like ice and he lets his brother's light chase the shadows. In one stretch, the brothers clasp hands, silent apologies blending into one another as they hold on. They share their burdens with no words, letting the stillness between them bend and mend them. Peter feels his brother's strength seep into him, lifting his shoulders once more.

They lean heavily on each other in the years to come. You never can find a shadow without a light source, after all. Now and again, Edmund feels himself stumble on loose stones, and the walls begin to be raised round him. And in these moments, he finds Peter's hand waiting to heave him to his feet again. In other moments, when Peter drags himself beneath the waves of sorrow and helplessness, Edmund is there to haul him to shore again. The brothers push and pull against each other, bicker and forgive, and always find the other close at hand in their times of need.

"You cannot always let the seas of your agony drown you, brother," Edmund teases, after a long discussion on the benefits and downfalls of attempting an alliance with Terebinthia - a discussion in which Peter has let many a frustration taint his words.

Peter glances up at him, an amused twinkle in his eye. "If only you had more beaches and less walls around your heart," he replies coolly, "perhaps I could find shore more quickly."

Edmund chuckles, turning his face to the window. "Perhaps we both need to learn to swim better…" Peter claps him on the shoulder, grinning broadly, before they both stand and blow out the candles in the room.

~Fin~


End file.
